Control
by firerwolf
Summary: Post ME3. Garrus goes up to his favorite spot on the Citadel for a moment of silence and mourning after Shepard's sacrifice on the Crucible.


Control

Garrus Vakarian was usually an easy Turian to find when he was on the Citadel. He was either at C-Sec, visiting the agents he used to work with, talking to the Council, or giving council to the Primarch. Today, though, he was not in any of these places. The Council was hearing from the Korgan, listening to their request for a new world for their people. There was no happy group of officers in C-Sec, sitting around and listening to Garrus tell stories of chasing Saren, fighting the Collectors, or the fight against the Reapers. Today Garrus was sitting on the top of a walkway at the top of the presidium.

He stared down at the people below, all of them having rebuilt their lives after the war. Garrus had rebuilt his life, at least as well as he could though there was a piece missing. He'd rebuilt it brick by brick, a home that was his life, it kept him safe and gave him shelter from the bad things that were still out there. The Korgan who still wanted the Rachni dead, Selarians who wanted the people to prepare for the Krogan to try to rise up again. So easily after the war all the species had gone back to fighting each other. Garrus wished she was here, here to yell at them and get them all back in line.

She was the one thing missing, the thing that made the universe seem like it will never really get back to normal. He looked up at the trio of reapers who were docked, if docked was the proper term, to the Citadel. They were something else that would never allow things to get back to normal, working with the Reapers. Garrus wasn't sure what she'd done, why it was they were helping, rebuilding, but they were. She'd given her life in order to make them work for life in the galaxy, not try to harvest it. Still, they'd never gotten a full story of what had happened, only that the Reapers were now working to help them.

Garrus put his hand on the sniper rifle beside him. It had been one of the only things that they'd gotten back from her disappearance. The black metal was scratched and scorched, though it was familiar. She'd given him one as well, one he'd used up until the very end. He reached over and grabbed the bottle of wine that he'd bought, staring down at it. He wondered if she was up at the bar, looking down on him as she'd said she would. He knew she would keep her word, that she was watching him, but he couldn't help the hollow feeling. She was the one thing missing from the house he'd built. She'd been the thing that held him up through all the hard times, had driven him become Archangel, to take on advising the Primarch. Without her here, it seemed like the foundation of his life was weaker, like anything too big could cause it all to come tumbling down again.

Garrus set the wine to the side. He'd planned on drinking it but he just didn't feel like it any more. The Turian hung his head, eyes closed as he tried to clear his head of all of these depressing thoughts. He just couldn't help it. He felt so alone without her to talk to, after all what was victory, survival, if the one you loved didn't survive? Sure, there were people out there that could understand but they didn't fully understand. He should have gone with her, shouldn't have let Javik pull him back onto the Normandy. Maybe he could have save her, at least he would have been able to express all that he wanted to tell her. All he'd gotten to say was that he loved her.

A cab rose up and landed nearby the depressed Turian. Garrus assumed that the cab had been sent by the Primarch because he was needed for some reason or another. He was surprised when the vehicle opened and a Geth stepped out, one that he'd never seen before. It was a midnight black, red lines along its body, and a set of golden lines from the base of its neck almost all the way to the single robotic eye. There was something to the way it moved, like it didn't quite have the handle of movement. It stopped a distance away and Garrus sighed, forcing himself to stand up.

The Geth stared at him and Garrus reached down, picking up the sniper rifle and wine before turning back to the synthetic life form. "So, why does the Primarch need me now?"

The Geth didn't reply right away. "You are Garrus Vakarian" The Turian narrowed his gaze, not sure why the Geth hadn't answered his question. "You plague me, Garrus Vakarian."

Garrus eyed the Geth, not really sure how he should reply. "I don't think I've met you before. I know all the Geth that work at the embassy."

"I do not work at the embassy. Such things do not concern me, as long as they don't cause a problem for the many they can argue as much as they please." There was something in the way the Geth spoke, a bit more human than any Geth Garrus had ever met.

"So then, you're here because…I'm sorry, I don't really get why you're here." Garrus reflexively moved the sniper rifle a bit so that if the Geth attacked he would be ready.

Instead the Geth turned and looked out at the view. "It's incredible. I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope it would inspire a certain, mood. The words hold deeper meaning, an indication of desiring romantic contact. Something on your mind? I know what I'm fishing for, know what this is about. It seemed like you needed time to…figure us out. Nervous, not sure how to properly proceed. I find it cute."

Garrus narrowed his eyes, trying to understand what was going on. He vaguely remembered what the Geth was reciting, but how did he know about that?

"Are you ready to be a one Turian kind of Woman? I find the question absurd. The only thing that made leaving Earth bearable was knowing you were out there somewhere. I felt the same way. The words part of the galaxy going to hell would've been never getting to see you again. At that minute I know what to say. Well, here I am. Exactly where I want to be. I put my hands on the chest of his armor. I love you, Garrus Vakarian."

Garrus cut the Geth off. "Why are you playing back a moment of my life like a recording? How do you know about that?" He didn't like the idea that the Geth had been watching him and Shepard.

"I know it because it is brought up by this place." The Geth looked to Garrus. "There are still memories, most of them vague. The Rachni queen dying, killing the proto-Reaper, standing on the Crucible and making my choice."

Garrus clenched his fists, uncomfortable. Why was this Geth talking about memories of Shepard? "Who are you?" Maybe it was just a Geth that remembered all the information about Shepard they'd gathered, but then why would it know about the Crucible?

The Geth shifted a bit and then it seemed to look dejected. "I don't have a name, really. I suppose she would have called me…Control."

"All right then, Control, why are you talking about memories of Shepard?" Garrus took a step back from the Geth and toward his own vehicle. Control was an odd name for a Geth, an unsettling one, and Garrus had no idea who the 'she' it had referred to was.

"Not memories of Shepard, but **from** Shepard." Control took a step forward and Garrus raised the sniper rifle, pointing it at the Geth. It wasn't easy to shoot with just one hand, but he didn't need to steady it to kill a Geth at point blank. Control's hand moved up, fingers running over the barrel of the weapon.

"What do you mean 'from' Shepard? Shepard didn't download any memories or anything to the Geth." Garrus watched the odd behavior but the Geth made not move to take the weapon, was just touching it.

"You don't know what happened on the Crucible, I do." Garrus was shocked by Control's words. "I can tell you what happened." The Geth moved over to the edge and looked out. "Do you know what I am?"

"You're a Geth, a synthetic life form that for some reason is recounting memories of Shepard." Garrus let the sniper rifle so it was attached to his back.

"I am not a Geth, simply using the platform of one. I have many platforms. I am sure you are aware of most of the platforms I use." Control looked up and Garrus looked with it, realizing that it was looking at the Reapers.

"You're the Reapers?" Garrus asked.

"Yes, I am the Reapers. I am that which controls them. I am Control." Control looked back to Garrus, turning to face him. "I am the Reapers."

Garrus stared at the Geth for a moment and then shook his head. "I don't get it. Why do I plague you, why are you talking to me?"

"You plague me because I remember you from her." The Geth's head hung a bit. "It hurts, so very much. I don't know if I have the strength to get back up. No, like Hell I'm going to give up now. No more will life die at your whim. You will work for them, you will work for me." Control didn't speak with the voice it had been using. Garrus felt a weight settle on him as he recognized the voice. It was that of Commander Kathleen Shepard, the woman he had loved. Her voice was angry, not at all a tone he hadn't heard before, but there was a great deal of pain as well. It was words that he was sure there was no way the Geth could have known.

Garrus moved to stand beside Control and looked out at the Presidium. "What happened on the Crucible?" He wasn't sure if he wanted to really know but there were so many questions. He wanted to know what had happened to Shepard.

"Shepard found the Catalyst, it was not what she expected. She thought the Crucible to be the Catalyst, it wasn't. The Catalyst was an AI that controlled the Reapers, sort of how I do. It gave her three choices. To destroy the reapers and all synthetic life in the galaxy, to control the reapers, and to synthesize organic and synthetic life. She chose to control them in order to insure that peace lasted. She did not trust the synthesize option so choosing to control was the best option."

Garrus took in the information, trying to wrap his head around it. "Then what became of Shepard?" If Shepard had been the one to take control then shouldn't she have been who he was speaking to?

"Shepard was destroyed by the power it took to control the Reapers. From her I was created, she is the woman I was. Through my birth her thoughts were freed and they guide me. I have been guiding your people, the ones who helped her, just as she guided you. Shepard understood that only through her sacrifice could she achieve her purpose, my purpose, to protect the many. She understood that there was power in control, wisdom in controlling the strength of your enemies."

"So then…my Shepard is dead?" Garrus prepared himself for the answer. He should have already known the answer but he needed to hear it. "She's not looking down at me from the bar."

"No, she looks down on you from the Reapers hanging in the sky, through my gaze, through every Reaper force that turns in your direction." Control turned to Garrus and lifted its hand. In a familiar gesture its hand touched the scared side of his face. Shepard had done it so many times in the past, a reassuring and intimate gesture. A reminded that the both of them had been through so much, and had the scars to remember it.

Garrus took a step back, the action making him a bit more comfortable. When he thought about it he had noticed that when he walked past Reapers they turned toward him. Was she looking through their eyes at him? "So…" He didn't know what to say, not sure how to really feel. Shepard was dead, and Control claimed to be created from her. "You are…like Shepard's child?"

Control contemplated the statement. "Not exactly, though if you would feel more comfortable that way I can be called her daughter. She is the woman I once was and children are not usually the product of their mothers as I am." Control stared at Garrus. "Now I must make a request of you." Garrus clicked his mandibles and waited for the question. "I need a representative toward the organic races. Someone who can get them to understand, who can tell me when they have a problem that needs my help."

Garrus considered the proposition. "I think that I can do that, though they'll want to talk to you. They won't just take my word for it."

"I can do that. Just get an audience with them and I will talk to them." Control turned and moved back to its vehicle. Garrus followed it and took a seat in the vehicle, trying to figure out how he would get the council to listen to him as Control drove.


End file.
